Quite simply:
It demeans what I do.
If I am born to be what I am, if my whole role in life is to kneel, then I cannot be given freely, as a gift, to those I think are worthy of it.
If I have nothing to offer except my love, my service, and my willingness, telling me that those things are purely because of my gender takes the value away from what I have to offer.
And while I sometimes doubt my value, or usefulness, there is always some worth there. There is always something to give, to throw to Master and hope he chooses to catch, care for, and nourish. I offer myself up to him to be shaped, molded, and refined, but not broken and remade. There is inherent value there, and purpose.
His gender, overall, is unimportant, as is mine. An unchangeable fact. Our roles are not defined because of our genitals.
Telling me I am worth less than a man means my gift to Master is worth less. That I should not have bothered with learning to trust anyone with anything, let alone trust him with everything I am.
And really, I'm not. I have no desire to serve 'men' or to please 'men' or be taken care of by 'men'. I have a desire to serve, please, and place my care in the hands of a man, just Master.
I don't have time today to explain this any better. We'll be having the apartment managers in our home tomorrow to make sure we don't need repairs on anything, so I need to go scrub things and make the clutter less cluttered to avoid any issues or complaints coming up at lease renewal times.
That's one of the worst parts.
ReplyDelete"Oh look, she's conforming to stereotype! See, women like being told what to do."
No... women don't. I do.
Yup, and a less self centered and rambling way to say it.
Delete