running through my head

I get to thinking sometimes and start wondering random things.

Why am I fine with being pushed forward, pants pulled down, and fucked in the hallway? I know most people would probably object. I get to hear all the time that sex should not be a concession and should be mutually desired by both parties and yadda yadda yadda. I can kinda agree, I guess? Not really, it just doesn't seem like that big a deal. I've mentioned it before, waiting for both people to be completely into the same sex act at the same time just seems way to much like a gamble, overall.

Why don't I think twice if I feel a hand wrapped around my throat, or a catching my hair without real warning besides the half conscious ignoring of someone talking when I'm occupied with something? It more seems right than worrying.

As long as the rules and expectations are clear to me, there's actually very little I find worth concern. Maybe that's all it is. Maybe it's just the willingness to accept things I like, or want, or enjoy. Maybe it's just laying it bare somewhere to start with. While Master and I only agreed to the specific roles of our relationship relatively recently, what both of us wanted everyday activity wise was talked over, sorted out, and agreed to a long long LONG time ago.

Beyond that though, I wonder why it is that I actually enjoy, or need, or whatever, the daily occurrences of my life that aren't the norm. I wonder why I tick the way that I do, basically. It seems like by now biology/evolution/whatever would have bred my wants and needs out of a species as a basic of survival. Seems like wanting to be hurt, to bleed, is contrary to everything that should be needed. I don't know, really. I understand that mental processing varies and has quirks that defy the standard. Just seems like there are to many people who share those urges for it to make any sense, I suppose.

Yup, I definitely wonder some random things, and trying to apply logic just makes me wonder a whole other set of random things.